Australian Tourism Website
PirateQ; Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow?(UK)
A; We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q; Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?(US)
A; Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q; I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can i follow the railroad tracks?(Sweden)
A; sure, it's only three thousand mile, take lots of water.
Q; Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (US)
A; A-fri-ca is the bigg triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in Kings cross. Come naked.
Q; Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A; Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q; Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A; Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q; Will i be able to speak english most places i go? (USA)
A; Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Q;Can i wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A; You are a British politician, right?
Q;Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A; NO, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q; Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A; Rattlesnakes live in A-MERI-CA which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safeley handled and make good pets.
Q; Can you Tell me the regions in Tasmania where th female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A;Yes, gay night clubs.
Q; I have a question about a famous Australia animal, but i forget its name. it's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A; It's clled a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. you can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q; Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A; Only at Christmas.
--
Basic definitions for science:
-if it's green & wiggly, it's Biology
- if it stinks, it's chemistry
- and if doesn't work, it's Physics
--
Basic definitions for science:
-if it's green & wiggly, it's Biology
- if it stinks, it's chemistry
- and if doesn't work, it's Physics
--
Basic definitions for science:
-if it's green & wiggly, it's Biology
- if it stinks, it's chemistry
- and if doesn't work, it's Physics
--
there is an art to flying or rather a knack. the knak lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. -the hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy, book 3
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I'm talking about candlelight dinners, trips around the world, there's nothing I wouldn't give her, if she was my girl. She'd never see the winter, take a second and dream, I'll show you things you'll never believe.
~Fantasy -Danny Fernandes
nonnahs sti
(:
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